no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
