you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
