Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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