My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
