I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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