I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If that was your dad, he is hot
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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