You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
