It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
