i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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