Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I would ride that face into the sunset
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
