Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
