I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
