I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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