I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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