This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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