Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
