He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
