I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
