His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
