Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
