love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
