My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
