There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
