my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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