I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
