I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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