I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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