remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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