I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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