And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
