Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize