i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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