And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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