So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
