i jhust puked up my retainher.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
