haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
