She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
