Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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