Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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