so explain again why im purple
no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
