end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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