omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
