It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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