It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
