We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
