If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
