Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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