Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
