I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
