Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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