I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
