farters have to be the big spoon...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
