You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
