3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
