is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
