He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
