i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
