FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
