Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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