Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
