Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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