Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The power of my boobs compel you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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