you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
