90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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