I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
