From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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