I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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