What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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