What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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