i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
