therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
