I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
