Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
