so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
