And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
