Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Green mimosas i think yes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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